I Got Married On Accident

“Hi sir, we wanted to ask about getting married--can” “—Sure, follow me.”

As we followed this older gentleman into what we both assumed was his office, I turned to Srikanth wide eyed when I realized we had just walked into the courtroom altar. Afterall, why would a volunteer minister have a whole office at the County Courthouse?

Let’s back it up.

Sri has a certain way about him. He’s a call rather than text, and a drop in and visit rather than call kind of guy. So, as we were on our way back from my birthday trip where we took secret engagement pictures for a secret engagement, he decided it would be a good idea to stop by the courthouse to inquire about obtaining a marriage license rather than relying on google, or a phone call.

We were so in love, and so excited to get married and had the perfect plan with only a few details to resolve. Such as who would marry us and exactly when we would get married. So, when we inquired about the marriage license, I did have a specific date in mind to marry the man (as our intention was to marry legally in the summer and have a big fat Indian wedding in India in the fall) but no plans had been finalized. When we got to the courthouse, they mentioned to us that since my ideal marriage date was less than a month away, we could go ahead and obtain the license, so we did.

They then proceeded to tell us about the sweet little volunteer minister who sat in the lobby of the courthouse every afternoon and told us to check with him if he would be available for the date we had in mind. I was pumped, because I love checking things off my list and of course, this would allow us to at least tell my family I was engaged and give me time to get him a wedding ring. But all those plans went out the door when we found ourselves standing hand in hand at the altar with an artificial flower arch above our heads. We looked at each other and asked each other if we were ready. “I am ready only when you are” were the last words I heard from Srikanth prior to “I do.”

In that county courthouse, with no rings and no witnesses, I vowed my life to a man I had met just months before. I promised to love him until the end of time and vowed my respect to only him, only after he vowed the same.

It was unplanned, and perhaps one of the only accidental marriages you’ll hear about that didn’t happen in Vegas. But we celebrate that day today, as we have just completed our third year of covenant.

Was I ready to get married? Perhaps, perhaps not. Did it suck hiding the biggest decision of my life from those who loved me the most? Yes, but also it was a little fun. But do I regret it? Absolutely not.

My husband has a different skin color than me. He was raised on a different continent than me. He must translate everything I say in his mind to comprehend because he has a different mother tongue than me. He is of a different faith. He is an incompatible enneagram, zodiac, star sign, moon sign, and rising. His family would have never picked me, and my family probably would have never picked him. He proposed to me on our second date, and I said no, (and later realized that I didn’t want to live without him.) Basically, nothing about our marriage makes sense. We don’t resolve problems in the same way, he shuts down and doesn’t speak, while I will push doors down and try to make him work it out. He stays calm and reserved, while I have outbursts of rage. He is patient, while I am always trying to determine someone’s next move and come up with scenarios in my head on how to respond to that. He doesn’t let his emotions out, while I can’t help but cry when I even think about my betta fish dying. We are two vastly different human beings who maybe don’t make sense at all.

But it’s working because we are committed to a life together. We do agree on the power of a covenant and choosing one another. We believe in loyalty and being kind. And we agree to really love one another every chance we get. And as our daughter watches us in our marriage, I hope she can learn the beauty of humanity. That no matter how different someone is from you, we are still all made in the image of one God. And when we learn how to really love someone who couldn’t be more different from us, we are learning another characteristic of this all-encompassing Creator.

So today, I honor my husband on what is our third anniversary. It’s been outrageously difficult to let go of mentalities and mindsets that I had a tight grasp on, but in this journey—I have found who I truly am. I am thankful for a husband who pushes me to be who I want to be and allows me to pursue my dreams. If you wrote it all down on paper and asked an expert, we would have never ended up together… but somehow our lives were intertwined, and it’s proven to be the most beautiful surprise of my life and I haven’t had a single day where I haven’t learned something new since marrying this man. It’s truly phenomenal.

So happy anniversary, Srikanth. May we continue to choose each other in the good times and bad. And may we fight to accept each other even when it doesn’t make sense. I’m so thankful you’re my husband.

Emandi, nenu ninnu premistunanu. Eppatiki.

And to all those who are reading, who are we to say what’s good and bad? Why do we feel like everything always has to make sense? If there’s a decision, you’re on the fence about making… go with your gut. Every single action in life will always have a reaction, so you may as well go for it. Seize the day, you have no idea what may come of it. 😉